^“15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.” 1 Corinthians 6:15

“Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.” – 1 Thess. 5:21

No Consensus Among Christians

We all have heard about “soul ties” in the world of Christianity. For a long time, I have been skeptical of the reality of it. Why? Largely because it sounds very New-Agey. In fact, the term itself may have originated within the New Age movement, which is one of the biggest deceptions of satan’s kingdom. And as far as I know, the concept of soul ties was not written about by Christians before modern times. With a lot of New Age concepts infiltrating churches, Christians ought to be wary of “new” doctrines. Christians must test everything with the scriptures.

Christians seem to be divided on whether it’s real or not. Some of the most popular Christian figures on the internet, like Allen Parr and Vlad Savchuk, affirm the existence of soul ties. While ex-New Ager turned Christian, Doreen Virtue, denies its existence.

It seems that many Pentecostals and Charismatics generally affirm the idea of soul ties and sometimes refer to it. Christian Dr. Michael L. Brown, the American radio host, author, apologist, and proponent of the Charismatic Movement, who was/is embroiled in a serious scandal and misconduct investigation, reportedly admitted he was carrying on an emotional affair, which he called a soul tie, with a married woman.

On the other side of the world of Christianity, more Reformed Christians and Lutherans tend to not affirm it or explicitly deny its existence.

Why address soul ties when this is a deliverance-focused website? Well, in deliverance circles, the concept of soul ties is commonly believed, and it is not uncommon to pray to break soul ties.

But are soul ties actually real? If yes, should we pray to break soul ties?

I will present both sides of the argument, and you can come to your own conclusion. I’ll share my opinion on whether it’s real or not at the end of this article.

What Exactly Are These Alleged Soul-Ties?

Soul ties are commonly described as a special level of intimacy or deep emotional bonds with a partner or friend, and can be healthy, positive, and nurturing. In other words, it can be described as a relational attachment to someone else that deeply and profoundly affects another person. Some refer to it as a deep emotional, oftentimes a “spiritual,” “unexplainable,” or “unlike any other” connection they have with someone. However, according to some, there are negative emotional bonds usually linked to toxic, narcissistic relationships that hinder emotional well-being. Such soul ties are viewed as unhealthy, positive, or negative.

In some Christian circles, especially in deliverance and inner healing ministries, these ties are viewed as invisible connections that can either bless or burden the soul. It is believed that these ties may bind people together long after physical separation, especially when forged through trauma, sexual sin, or emotional dependency. It is also believed by some Christians that an “ungodly soul tie” can form via sexual relations.

In the world of the New Age, some describe it in more mystical terms. To some New Agers, it is any relationship where two become one, in mind, body, emotions, or heart. It’s an invisible umbilical cord that ties a person to another. One person is woven with another person. To the New Ager, soul ties are thought to transcend physical boundaries, as if two souls have been connected across multiple lifetimes.

How Are Soul Ties Supposedly Formed?

Note that the following seems to come from an author who holds to New-Agey beliefs and not a Christian:

• Prolonged interactions, such as romantic relationships, close friendships, connections with coworkers, and relationships with family members
• Physical intimacy, which can significantly strengthen an existing soul tie
• Shared experiences, personal values, or beliefs
• Formal commitments, such as through covenants like vows and marriage
• Vulnerability, such as sharing deep feelings and openness to forming an emotional bond with another person
• Connection through trauma, such as transgenerational trauma that is passed down from generation to generation until someone breaks the cycle

Source

Christians who believe in soul ties would probably agree with most of what is listed, especially with the part about sexual intimacy.

Signs One Has Unbiblical Soul Ties

The following quote comes from who I believe to be a false teacher, Kris Vallotton, from the false church called Bethel Church in Redding, California, which has been exposed here.

7 SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE AN UNHEALTHY SOUL TIE:

1. You are in a physically, and/or emotionally, and/or spiritually abusive relationship, but you “feel” so attached to them that you refuse to cut off the connection and set boundaries with them.

2. You have left a relationship (maybe long ago), but you think about the other person obsessively (you can’t get them out of your mind).

3. Whenever you do anything – make a decision, have a conversation with someone etc., you “feel” like this person is with you or watching you.

4. When you have sex with someone else (hopefully your husband or wife), you can hardly keep yourself from visualizing the person you have a soul tie with.

5. You take on the negative traits of the person that your soul is tied to and carry their offenses whether or not you actually agree with them.

6. You defend your right to stay in a relationship with the person that your soul is tied to, even though it is negatively effecting or even destroying the important relationships in your life (husband, wife, kids, leaders, etc.)

7. You have simultaneous experiences and/or “moods” as the person your soul is tied to. This can even include sickness, accidents, addictions etc.

Source

Even if he is a false teacher, is it possible there is some truth to this? Could these be possible symptoms of an unhealthy soul tie, assuming it is real?

The Biblical Case For the Existence of Soul Ties

First and foremost, it is important to establish a scriptural basis for soul ties and examine the scriptures like what the Bereans did (Acts 17:10-12). If the Bible supports the concept of soul ties, then there should be no doubt of its existence.

For proponents of the existence of soul-ties, their go-to scriptural support for it is actually sparse. But it only needs one Biblical reference for it to be true.

Perhaps what is believed to be the strongest Biblical evidence for it is when David’s soul was attached to Jonathan’s soul (at least that’s a popular understanding of it). This could be an example of a positive (alleged) soul-tie and a godly covenant friendship. It also seems to suggest some spiritual union of souls. The following is the passage in which the idea is inferred:

“And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Samuel 18:1).

For many Christians, this passage is the belief that the reality of soul ties is inferred. According to Thayer’s Greek Lexicon, “the soul (Latinanimus), a. the seat of the feelings, desires, affections, aversions (our soul, heart, etc. (R. V. almost uniformly soul)…” Because of the entailment of the knitting of the soul, Jonathan’s emotions, mind, and internal will that made choices were attached to David in a healthy way, where he had feelings for him, thus David affected Jonathan’s spirit through what some Christians label as a soul tie.

The Hebrew “qashar” is rendered “was knit,” gird, or was bound up, which is a strong term. The same Hebrew word is used in Genesis 44:30. Thus, a similar expressive phrase is used of Jacob’s love for his youngest son Benjamin, where it is rendered “seeing that his life is bound up in the lad’s life…”

Another example of an alleged healthy so-called soul tie (or at least should be) is between a husband and a wife. The soul tie between a husband and wife in marriage is supposed to be an example of a godly soul tie. It is said that God intended for the soul tie between a husband and wife to bond them together on a spiritual and emotional level for life. It is said that God created sex as one of its purposes as a powerful means to continuously unite a husband and wife together in marriage.

“And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?” (Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31)

The Bible elsewhere reads that when two have sexual relations, they become one flesh.

^“15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

¹⁶ What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

¹⁷ But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

¹⁸ Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:15-18)

But does becoming one flesh necessarily mean that a soul tie is formed? The Greek word for flesh, “sarx,” refers to one’s body, not necessarily one’s soul. But then the next verse reads about being united or joined with the Lord in one spirit. The mind, body, and soul are all very interconnected; perhaps we may not need to become too nitpicky with cutting clear categories here. The aforementioned passage alludes to the idea and the concept that sex is glue and forms attachments.

Another example of a supposed soul tie is Shechem with Dinah. According to the Lexicon, the Hebrew word used, dabaq, is defined as “to cling, cleave, adhere, stick, join.” It reads in Genesis 34:2-3,

“² And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her.³ And his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel.”

The soul tie could have come after Shechem raped Dinah. As mentioned earlier, sex can form alleged soul ties.

The Biblical Case Against the Existence of Soul-Ties

Some Christians assert that there is no clear biblical doctrine of soul ties. It’s not explicit from scripture. If it were real, then surely it would be clear-cut in the scriptures, right?

One Christian website reads:

What are “soul ties” and is this a biblical teaching?

The term “soul ties” was coined by false teachers to misrepresent the meaning of certain passages of scripture. The term soul ties never appears in scripture, and neither does the concept it describes. The term refers to supposed uniting or tying of one person’s spirit to the spirit of another person in some way. The Bible never describes such a possibility nor teaches that it exists.

False teachers point to passages like 1Samuel 18:1, which says David’s soul was “knit” to Jonathan’s soul, or 1Corinthians 6:16, which commands believers not to engage in sexual sin, to support their improper interpretation. They claim these passages are examples of knitting souls together, but their claim is not supported by a proper interpretation of the text. Rather, this is a classic case of false teaching distorting the true meaning of scripture to promulgate strange myths built upon speculation (see 1Tim 1:4).

The Bible teaches that a believer’s spirit is united with Christ alone and with no one else. Not even in marriage do we unite spiritually with another person. Marriage unites a husband and wife in flesh only until the death of the body according to Romans 7. Our spirit is Christ’s alone.

The passages quoted by those who falsely teach soul ties are speaking of different ideas altogether. For example, in the case of David and Jonathan, the author described their souls knitted together because these two entered into a covenant together. Covenants unite two people in a lifelong earthly bond, not a spiritual bond. 

In the case of David and Jonathan, Jonathan felt great affection and admiration for David, recognizing him to be the future king of Israel, and so he became devoted to David and entered into a covenant with David (i.e., his soul was “knit” to David). Obviously, this terminology doesn’t mean that the two men were united in some mystical, spiritual sense. It simply describes their deep emotional and covenantal bond. 

In the case of 1Corinthians 6:16 Paul warns believers not to become “one-flesh” with prostitutes through an act of sexual immorality. Notice Paul’s concern was that of becoming one flesh, not one soul. He was describing the life-long bond of marriage, not a special spiritual union. 

Therefore, there is no biblical support for the concept of soul ties. It is an unbiblical teaching. 

Source

GotQuestions.org, a very popular Christian website, says something similar:

The phrase “soul ties” is not in the Bible; rather, the idea of soul ties is a man-made speculation which some teachers superimpose onto Scripture in an attempt to explain certain human behaviors. Soul ties are said to be connections from one person’s soul to (or into) another person’s soul, a concept that has no basis in Scripture.

The Bible does speak of close friendships, such as that of David and Jonathan. “The soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Samuel 18:1 KJV). This is simply a way of expressing Jonathan’s total commitment to, and deep friendship with, David. To try to make this passage teach a mystical binding of the actual soul is unwarranted…

(Source)

And as stated earlier, New Agers affirm the existence of soul ties, which is a red flag. For instance, an intuitive and author of Self-Care for Empaths, Tanya Carroll Richardson, says soul ties can also refer to the broad term describing any kind of soul connection between two people. “You could have known each other in a past life, be from the same soul family, or simply have a soul contract to meet up in this lifetime and have some type of relationship or experience together” (source).

Why do people feel so attached after having sexual relations with one another? Isn’t that proof of a soul tie? It could be that soul ties, at least concerning sex, are really attachments in disguise and an overspiritualization of normal feelings. The bonding hormone oxytocin is released during orgasm, which facilitates the feelings of pair-bonding and attachment. Such brain chemicals can also explain the mystical feelings behind it, and perhaps what people call soul ties are just a deep interpersonal relationship with someone, rather than some supernatural bond.

My Opinion About Soul Ties Existing or Not

So both sides of the argument have been presented. So what is my belief about the matter? Although I am not dogmatic — it’s very tentative, I do tend to believe so-called soul ties are real.

The most cited passage, 1 Samuel 18:1, which says: “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul,” has convinced me of its existence. I believe the strong implication is certainly there, even if the term soul tie isn’t used in the text.

My belief in the concept is also because of experience. I remember I have formed close platonic and romantic relationships before, and I felt this bond that is beyond any natural explanation. Was that a so-called soul-tie? It seemed like it to me. Some may argue that it was just brain chemistry behind those feelings or thoughts, but I felt there was something more binding us that is difficult to articulate. I am pretty sure many others have felt such a connection with someone like that before. Remember, there is more to us than just the physical.

Build Healthy Godly Ties

I believe God intended these ties for good and for the building up of each person through love and for his or her good. This can be called a positive attachment.

Since friends can easily influence, it would be wise to choose righteous and holy friends. Pure and holy ties among friends are based on Godly love. Godly friendships with people will have Jesus at the center, glued by love as God is love (1 John 4:8). Biblically, relationships are designed to bring fruitfulness and glory to God. Ties that honor God encourage spiritual growth, mutual support, and edification. Unhealthy ties, however, can impede one’s walk of faith and be detrimental in other ways.

It’s perhaps even more important to choose a godly spouse who truly loves the Lord. If close friends can forge such strong bonds, how much more so with a spouse with whom you have sexual relations? I have known Christians who got into romantic relationships and even married people who were not Christian, and it became a struggle.

The whole body of Christ should ideally have such a strong tie in love. The Bible reads, “From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love” (Ephesians 4:16).

But What About…?

But what about New Agers and some false teachers affirming the existence of soul ties? Just because New Agers and some false teachers affirm the existence of soul ties, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s imaginary or fictitious. Even a broken clock can be right twice a day.

What about the term soul tie not being found in the Bible? Well, the word “Trinity” is not found in the Bible either, but the concept is certainly there. As long as the concept is found in scripture, there is no valid reason to dismiss it.

Break Soul Ties?

So, should we pray to break soul ties? I see no problem with praying for cutting ties, even if it doesn’t exist in a spiritual or metaphysical sense. There may be no supernatural or metaphysical soul tether or connection to another person, but some emotional or psychological tie may exist. And some people may call such an attachment a soul tie when they don’t mean it in a way that is mystical or metaphysical. It’s okay to pray to sever all unhealthy feelings of intense attachment to someone. If that person is no good, then he/she can affect the other person negatively. The Bible does read that evil company corrupts good habits (1 Corinthians 15:33), and to “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul” (Proverbs 22:24-25).

I teach that we should repent of being emotionally tied or bound to ungodly people. For instance, if a married person is emotionally attached or romantically attracted to the opposite sex (it could even be continuously reminiscing about an ex), then that person needs to repent of it. I believe there can be a demonic influence behind ungodly relationships or ties. The Bible reads (2 Cor. 6:14) “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” To reiterate, Christians ought to cut all close bonds with ungodly people. People should pray to God to break all ungodly soul ties (or better called soul-knots).

As for having sexual relations with someone forming a tie, I believe that it may be true. Where the Bible (1 Cor. 6:16) reads, “know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh,” the implication is there that something more than the physical is going on as the result of sexual relations. Yes, it reads “one flesh,” but the Bible reads that, though distinct, the mind, body, and the soul are all interconnected (1 Thessalonians 5:23; Hebrews 4:12).

Still Some Issues

In the Christian world, a big issue with the concept of soul ties is that some people have built strange, way-out-there doctrines related to it that are not remotely Biblical. We should never build doctrines that are not clearly in the Bible. Straying far away from scriptures is treading on dangerous territory.

Another issue is with the term soul-tie itself. It’s problematic because it carries so much New-Age baggage. Perhaps Christians who espouse it should drop the term soul-tie and adopt a term more faithful to the Bible, such as “soul-knit.”

Closing Statement

Many Christians don’t believe it is a real concept and even adamantly come against it, and that’s fine. Whatever side you’re on in this matter, please know that this isn’t an essential doctrinal issue. We can agree to disagree and still break bread together.

What every Christian should agree with is that the only satisfying soul tie, or rather soul/spirit knit, is the one with our Creator: “But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit” (1 Corinthians 6:17).

Please share your thoughts about the concept of soul knits.

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If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you can receive Him into your heart, and He can deliver you from darkness and sin and have your name written in His Book of Life.

If you are sincere, you can say this simple prayer to the Father (it doesn’t have to be word for word):

“God, I recognize that I have not lived my life for You up until now. I have been living for myself and that is wrong. Please forgive me of all of my sins just as I forgive others. I need You in my life; I want You in my life. I acknowledge the completed work of Your only begotten Son Jesus Christ in giving His life for me on the cross, I believe in my heart Jesus is Lord and was raised from the dead and I long to receive the forgiveness you have made freely available to me through this sacrifice. Come into my life now, Lord. Take up residence in my heart and be my king, my Lord, and my Savior. From this day forward, I will no longer be controlled by sin, or the desire to please myself, but I will follow You all the days of my life. Those days are in Your hands. I ask this in the Lord and GOD Jesus’ precious and holy name. Amen.”